A man has accused his wife of tainting his memory of the birth of their son because she let their baby meet her mum before him as he was away working
Every mum’s birth story is different, whether they gave birth in hospital with their partner by their side, in the back of the car by the side of the M62 or at home in a water bath.
One mum’s birth story was going reasonably normally, until her husband was called to work out of town for two weeks just before her due date, throwing a huge spanner in the works.
The mum moved away from her hometown to be with her husband after they married, as he has a medical condition which requires him to be near family, but sadly means she’s unable to live near hers.
So, when she went into labour, she wasn’t able to have her husband or any of her own family by her side in the delivery room, so she ended up giving birth with her husband’s step-mum as her birthing partner.
However, things became a little bit complicated when the woman’s husband asked her to promise that no one else would get to meet their newborn son before him, since he wasn’t able to be there at the birth – and she agreed.
“His step-mum was with me when I went into labour but she stayed away since she is the type that doesn’t get too involved and keeps her distance. She’s also the ‘I don’t do diapers’ type meaning she doesn’t offer help with the baby and I shouldn’t be expecting it,” the new mum wrote on Reddit’s AITA forum.
“She dropped me and my son off at home and asked that I only call if there’s an emergency. I felt helpless I asked my neighbour for few favours but needed real help with the baby so I called my mum and asked if she could come help me. She drove four hours to come stay with me. She helped out tremendously and I’m so so grateful for that.”
The 25-year-old’s husband was away for a few more days before coming home, but when he finally arrived and discovered his mum-in-law was also there, he got upset and accused his wife of breaking her promise.
“I explained that I needed help and he brought up his step-mum but I replied that she dropped me off and left that’s it. Besides, he and my mum are on good terms, I didn’t get why he was mad she met her grandbaby which was inevitable. He said it wasn’t about mum since it could’ve been anybody else but it was about me disrespecting his wishes and breaking the promise I made,” she continued.
“He reminded me that he’s also the parent and he gets a say too. At this point I said he was overreacting but he said that I forever tainted the memory of his son’s birth and broke his trust and proved to him that my word ‘is worth s***’ now.”
The woman’s mum gave the couple some space but insisted that her daughter had done nothing wrong by calling her for help, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“He told me to stop giving him excuses so I admitted I wronged him with what I did and he started avoiding me, just kept focusing his attention on our son,” she added.
“He keeps acting cold towards me calling me a selfish promise breaker and expecting me to make it up to him. He wanted an apology but I haven’t given him that yet.”
The woman then turned to Reddit to question whether she had been in the wrong by letting her mum meet her son before her husband and she was met with overwhelming support.
“He needs to live in his hometown because of a chronic medical condition, but goes out of town for two weeks when his kid is being born? Like I know there are some professions where that would be a thing, but the imbalance there leapt out at me,” one Reddit user commented.
“What about your needs? What about your recovery? Your husband is isolating you at a time when you need support most.”
Another agreed: “Heal up and leave. Your husband is acting like an entitled selfish brat. He has no idea what its like to give birth and need help afterwards. His family isn’t helping you… What does he expect? He’s showing major red flags.
“And there’s no excuse, work or not, he wasn’t at the birth unless he’s in the military, and even then they probably would have made an exception. Tell your husband name calling is for toddlers, to grow up, or you need to run.”